We tracked down Million Dollar Extreme funnyman Sam Hyde in Tokyo at 2AM and asked him why he identifies as black now. His answers took so many bleeps, the interview sounds like a video game. Before that, we take on cuckmercials, a handicapped guy in Times Square, and of course the news which includes: Time’s 100 most influential people, oral sex laws in Uganda, the trans lawyer in charge of NYC gun permits, Nancy Leong’s war on masculinity, the Southwest plane crash, Randa Jarr, Olivia Munn, Poly Styrene, Ari Up, The Big Hazard Gang, Hotep Jesus, and those idiots who refused to leave Starbucks.